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7823 lines (6955 loc) · 445 KB
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THE PRIVATE MEMOIRS
AND CONFESSIONS
OF A JUSTIFIED SINNER
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF
WITH A DETAIL OF CURIOUS TRADITIONARY FACTS, AND
OTHER EVIDENCE, BY THE EDITOR
By
James Hogg
THE EDITOR'S NARRATIVE
It appears from tradition, as well as some parish registers still
extant, that the lands of Dalcastle (or Dalchastel, as it is often
spelled) were possessed by a family of the name of Colwan, about one
hundred and fifty years ago, and for at least a century previous to
that period. That family was supposed to have been a branch of the
ancient family of Colquhoun, and it is certain that from it spring the
Cowans that spread towards the Border. I find that, in the year 1687,
George Colwan succeeded his uncle of the same name, in the lands of
Dalchastel and Balgrennan; and, this being all I can gather of the
family from history, to tradition I must appeal for the remainder of
the motley adventures of that house. But, of the matter furnished by
the latter of these powerful monitors, I have no reason to complain: It
has been handed down to the world in unlimited abundance; and I am
certain that, in recording the hideous events which follow, I am only
relating to the greater part of the inhabitants of at least four
counties of Scotland matters of which they were before perfectly well
informed.
This George was a rich man, or supposed to be so, and was married, when
considerably advanced in life, to the sole heiress and reputed daughter
of a Baillie Orde, of Glasgow. This proved a conjunction anything but
agreeable to the parties contracting. It is well known that the
Reformation principles had long before that time taken a powerful hold
of the hearts and affections of the people of Scotland, although the
feeling was by no means general, or in equal degrees; and it so
happened that this married couple felt completely at variance on the
subject. Granting it to have been so, one would have thought that the
laird, owing to his retiring situation, would have been the one that
inclined to the stern doctrines of the reformers; and that the young
and gay dame from the city would have adhered to the free principles
cherished by the court party, and indulged in rather to extremity, in
opposition to their severe and carping contemporaries.
The contrary, however, happened to be the case. The laird was what his
country neighbours called "a droll, careless chap", with a very limited
proportion of the fear of God in his heart, and very nearly as little
of the fear of man. The laird had not intentionally wronged or offended
either of the parties, and perceived not the necessity of deprecating
their vengeance. He had hitherto believed that he was living in most
cordial terms with the greater part of the inhabitants of the earth,
and with the powers above in particular: but woe be unto him if he was
not soon convinced of the fallacy of such damning security! for his
lady was the most severe and gloomy of all bigots to the principles of
the Reformation. Hers were not the tenets of the great reformers, but
theirs mightily overstrained and deformed. Theirs was an unguent hard
to be swallowed; but hers was that unguent embittered and overheated
until nature could not longer bear it. She had imbibed her ideas from
the doctrines of one flaming predestinarian divine alone; and these
were so rigid that they became a stumbling block to many of his
brethren, and a mighty handle for the enemies of his party to turn the
machine of the state against them.
The wedding festivities at Dalcastle partook of all the gaiety, not of
that stern age, but of one previous to it. There was feasting, dancing,
piping, and singing: the liquors were handed, around in great fulness,
the ale in large wooden bickers, and the brandy in capacious horns of
oxen. The laird gave full scope to his homely glee. He danced--he
snapped his fingers to the music--clapped his hands and shouted at the
turn of the tune. He saluted every girl in the hall whose appearance
was anything tolerable, and requested of their sweethearts to take the
same freedom with his bride, by way of retaliation. But there she sat
at the head of the hall in still and blooming beauty, absolutely
refusing to tread a single measure with any gentleman there. The only
enjoyment in which she appeared to partake was in now and then stealing
a word of sweet conversation with her favourite pastor about divine
things; for he had accompanied her home after marrying her to her
husband, to see her fairly settled in her new dwelling. He addressed
her several times by her new name, Mrs. Colwan; but she turned away her
head disgusted, and looked with pity and contempt towards the old
inadvertent sinner, capering away in the height of his unregenerated
mirth. The minister perceived the workings of her pious mind, and
thenceforward addressed her by the courteous title of Lady Dalcastle,
which sounded somewhat better, as not coupling her name with one of the
wicked: and there is too great reason to believe that, for all the
solemn vows she had come under, and these were of no ordinary binding,
particularly on the laird's part, she at that time despised, if not
abhorred him, in her heart.
The good parson again blessed her, and went away. She took leave of him
with tears in her eyes, entreating him often to visit her in that
heathen land of the Amorite, the Hittite, and the Girgashite: to which
he assented, on many solemn and qualifying conditions--and then the
comely bride retired to her chamber to pray.
It was customary, in those days, for the bride's-man and maiden, and a
few select friends, to visit the new-married couple after they had
retired to rest, and drink a cup to their healths, their happiness, and
a numerous posterity. But the laird delighted not in this: he wished to
have his jewel to himself; and, slipping away quietly from his jovial
party, he retired to his chamber to his beloved, and bolted the door.
He found her engaged with the writings of the Evangelists, and terribly
demure. The laird went up to caress her; but she turned away her head,
and spoke of the follies of aged men, and something of the broad way
that leadeth to destruction. The laird did not thoroughly comprehend
this allusion; but being considerably flustered by drinking, and
disposed to take all in good part, he only remarked, as he took off his
shoes and stockings, that, "whether the way was broad or narrow, it was
time that they were in their bed."
"Sure, Mr. Colwan, you won't go to bed to-night, at such an important
period of your life, without first saying prayers for yourself and me."
When she said this, the laird had his head down almost to the ground,
loosing his shoe-buckle; but when he heard of prayers, on such a night,
he raised his face suddenly up, which was all over as flushed and red
as a rose, and answered:
"Prayers, Mistress! Lord help your crazed head, is this a night for
prayers?"
He had better have held his peace. There was such a torrent of profound
divinity poured out upon him that the laird became ashamed, both of
himself and his new-made spouse, and wist not what to say: but the
brandy helped him out.
"It strikes me, my dear, that religious devotion would be somewhat out
of place to-night," said he. "Allowing that it is ever so beautiful,
and ever so beneficial, were we to ride on the rigging of it at all
times, would we not be constantly making a farce of it: It would be
like reading the Bible and the jestbook, verse about, and would render
the life of man a medley of absurdity and confusion."
But, against the cant of the bigot or the hypocrite, no reasoning can
aught avail. If you would argue until the end of life, the infallible
creature must alone be right. So it proved with the laird. One
Scripture text followed another, not in the least connected, and one
sentence of the profound Mr. Wringhim's sermons after another, proving
the duty of family worship, till the laird lost patience, and tossing
himself into bed, said carelessly that he would leave that duty upon
her shoulders for one night.
The meek mind of Lady Dalcastle was somewhat disarranged by this sudden
evolution. She felt that she was left rather in an awkward situation.
However, to show her unconscionable spouse that she was resolved to
hold fast her integrity, she kneeled down and prayed in terms so potent
that she deemed she was sure of making an impression on him. She did
so; for in a short time the laird began to utter a response so fervent
that she was utterly astounded, and fairly driven from the chain of her
orisons. He began, in truth, to sound a nasal bugle of no ordinary
calibre--the notes being little inferior to those of a military
trumpet. The lady tried to proceed, but every returning note from the
bed burst on her ear with a louder twang, and a longer peal, till the
concord of sweet sounds became so truly pathetic that the meek spirit
of the dame was quite overcome; and, after shedding a flood of tears,
she arose from her knees, and retired to the chimney-corner with her
Bible in her lap, there to spend the hours in holy meditation till such
time as the inebriated trumpeter should awaken to a sense of propriety.
The laird did not awake in any reasonable time; for, he being overcome
with fatigue and wassail, his sleep became sounder, and his Morphean
measures more intense. These varied a little in their structure; but
the general run of the bars sounded something in this way:
"Hic-hoc-wheew!" It was most profoundly ludicrous; and could not have
missed exciting risibility in anyone save a pious, a disappointed, and
humbled bride.
The good dame wept bitterly. She could not for her life go and awaken
the monster, and request him to make room for her: but she retired
somewhere, for the laird, on awaking next morning, found that he was
still lying alone. His sleep had been of the deepest and most genuine
sort; and, all the time that it lasted, he had never once thought of
either wives, children, or sweethearts, save in the way of dreaming
about them; but, as his spirit began again by slow degrees to verge
towards the boundaries of reason, it became lighter and more buoyant
from the effects of deep repose, and his dreams partook of that
buoyancy, yea, to a degree hardly expressible. He dreamed of the reel,
the jig, the strathspey, and the corant; and the elasticity of his
frame was such that he was bounding over the heads of maidens, and
making his feet skimmer against the ceiling, enjoying, the while, the
most ecstatic emotions. These grew too fervent for the shackles of the
drowsy god to restrain. The nasal bugle ceased its prolonged sounds in
one moment, and a sort of hectic laugh took its place. "Keep it
going--play up, you devils!" cried the laird, without changing his
position on the pillow. But this exertion to hold the fiddlers at their
work fairly awakened the delighted dreamer, and, though he could not
refrain from continuing, his laugh, beat length, by tracing out a
regular chain of facts, came to be sensible of his real situation.
"Rabina, where are you? What's become of you, my dear?" cried the
laird. But there was no voice nor anyone that answered or regarded. He
flung open the curtains, thinking to find her still on her knees, as he
had seen her, but she was not there, either sleeping or waking.
"Rabina! Mrs. Colwan!" shouted he, as loud as he could call, and then
added in the same breath, "God save the king--I have lost my wife!"
He sprung up and opened the casement: the day-light was beginning to
streak the east, for it was spring, and the nights were short, and the
mornings very long. The laird half dressed himself in an instant, and
strode through every room in the house, opening the windows as he went,
and scrutinizing every bed and every corner. He came into the hall
where the wedding festival had been held; and as he opened the various
windowboards, loving couples flew off like hares surprised too late in
the morning among the early braird. "Hoo-boo! Fie, be frightened!"
cried the laird. "Fie, rin like fools, as if ye were caught in an
ill-turn!" His bride was not among them; so he was obliged to betake
himself to further search. "She will be praying in some corner, poor
woman," said he to himself. "It is an unlucky thing this praying. But,
for my part, I fear I have behaved very ill; and I must endeavour to
make amends."
The laird continued his search, and at length found his beloved in the
same bed with her Glasgow cousin who had acted as bridesmaid. "You sly
and malevolent imp," said the laird; "you have played me such a trick
when I was fast asleep! I have not known a frolic so clever, and, at
the same time, so severe. Come along, you baggage you!"
"Sir, I will let you know that I detest your principles and your person
alike," said she. "It shall never be said, Sir, that my person was at
the control of a heathenish man of Belial--a dangler among the
daughters of women--a promiscuous dancer--and a player of unlawful
games. Forgo your rudeness, Sir, I say, and depart away from my
presence and that of my kinswoman.
"Come along, I say, my charming Rab. If you were the pink of all
puritans, and the saint of all saints, you are my wife, and must do as
I command you."
"Sir, I will sooner lay down my life than be subjected to your godless
will; therefore I say, desist, and begone with you."
But the laird regarded none of these testy sayings: he rolled her in a
blanket, and bore her triumphantly away to his chamber, taking care to
keep a fold or two of the blanket always rather near to her mouth, in
case of any outrageous forthcoming of noise.
The next day at breakfast the bride was long in making her appearance.
Her maid asked to see her; but George did not choose that anybody
should see her but himself. He paid her several visits, and always
turned the key as he came out. At length breakfast was served; and
during the time of refreshment the laird tried to break several jokes;
but it was remarked that they wanted their accustomed brilliancy, and
that his nose was particularly red at the top.
Matters, without all doubt, had been very bad between the new-married
couple; for in the course of the day the lady deserted her quarters,
and returned to her father's house in Glasgow, after having been a
night on the road; stage-coaches and steam-boats having then no
existence in that quarter.
Though Baillie Orde had acquiesced in his wife's asseveration regarding
the likeness of their only daughter to her father, he never loved or
admired her greatly; therefore this behaviour nothing astounded him. He
questioned her strictly as to the grievous offence committed against
her, and could discover nothing that warranted a procedure so fraught
with disagreeable consequences. So, after mature deliberation, the
baillie addressed her as follows:
"Aye, aye, Raby! An' sae I find that Dalcastle has actually refused to
say prayers with you when you ordered him; an' has guidit you in a rude
indelicate manner, outstepping the respect due to my daughter--as my
daughter. But, wi' regard to what is due to his own wife, of that he's
a better judge nor me. However, since he has behaved in that manner to
MY DAUGHTER, I shall be revenged on him for aince; for I shall return
the obligation to ane nearer to him: that is, I shall take pennyworths
of his wife--an' let him lick at that."
"What do you mean, Sir?" said the astonished damsel.
"I mean to be revenged on that villain Dalcastle," said he, "for what
he has done to my daughter. Come hither, Mrs. Colwan, you shall pay for
this."
So saying, the baillie began to inflict corporal punishment on the
runaway wife. His strokes were not indeed very deadly, but he made a
mighty flourish in the infliction, pretending to be in a great rage
only at the Laird of Dalcastle. "Villain that he is!" exclaimed he, "I
shall teach him to behave in such a manner to a child of mine, be she
as she may; since I cannot get at himself, I shall lounder her that is
nearest to him in life. Take you that, and that, Mrs. Colwan, for your
husband's impertinence!"
The poor afflicted woman wept and prayed, but the baillie would not
abate aught of his severity. After fuming and beating her with many
stripes, far drawn, and lightly laid down, he took her up to her
chamber, five stories high, locked her in, and there he fed her on
bread and water, all to be revenged on the presumptuous Laird of
Dalcastle; but ever and anon, as the baillie came down the stair from
carrying his daughter's meal, he said to himself: "I shall make the
sight of the laird the blithest she ever saw in her life."
Lady Dalcastle got plenty of time to read, and pray, and meditate; but
she was at a great loss for one to dispute with about religious tenets;
for she found that, without this advantage, about which there was a
perfect rage at that time, the reading and learning of Scripture texts,
and sentences of intricate doctrine, availed her naught; so she was
often driven to sit at her casement and look out for the approach of
the heathenish Laird of Dalcastle.
That hero, after a considerable lapse of time, at length made his
appearance. Matters were not hard to adjust; for his lady found that
there was no refuge for her in her father's house; and so, after some
sighs and tears, she accompanied her husband home. For all that had
passed, things went on no better. She WOULD convert the laird in spite
of his teeth: the laird would not be converted. She WOULD have the
laird to say family prayers, both morning and evening: the laird would
neither pray morning nor evening. He would not even sing psalms, and
kneel beside her while she performed the exercise; neither would he
converse at all times, and in all places, about the sacred mysteries of
religion, although his lady took occasion to contradict flatly every
assertion that he made, in order that she might spiritualize him by
drawing him into argument.
The laird kept his temper a long while, but at length his patience wore
out; he cut her short in all her futile attempts at spiritualization,
and mocked at her wire-drawn degrees of faith, hope, and repentance. He
also dared to doubt of the great standard doctrine of absolute
predestination, which put the crown on the lady's Christian resentment.
She declared her helpmate to be a limb of Antichrist, and one with whom
no regenerated person could associate. She therefore bespoke a separate
establishment, and, before the expiry of the first six months, the
arrangements of the separation were amicably adjusted. The upper, or
third, story of the old mansion-house was awarded to the lady for her
residence. She had a separate door, a separate stair, a separate
garden, and walks that in no instance intersected the laird's; so that
one would have thought the separation complete. They had each their own
parties, selected from their own sort of people; and, though the laird
never once chafed himself about the lady's companies, it was not long
before she began to intermeddle about some of his.
"Who is that fat bouncing dame that visits the laird so often, and
always by herself?" said she to her maid Martha one day.
"Oh dear, mem, how can I ken? We're banished frae our acquaintances
here, as weel as frae the sweet gospel ordinances."
"Find me out who that jolly dame is, Martha. You, who hold communion
with the household of this ungodly man, can be at no loss to attain
this information. I observe that she always casts her eye up toward our
windows, both in coming and going; and I suspect that she seldom
departs from the house emptyhanded."
That same evening Martha came with the information that this august
visitor was a Miss Logan, an old an intimate acquaintance of the
laird's, and a very worthy respectable lady, of good connections, whose
parents had lost their patrimony in the civil wars.
"Ha! very well!" said the lady; "very well, Martha! But, nevertheless,
go thou and watch this respectable lady's motions and behaviour the
next time she comes to visit the laird--and the next after that. You
will not, I see, lack opportunities."
Martha's information turned out of that nature that prayers were said
in the uppermost story of Dalcastle house against the Canaanitish
woman, every night and every morning; and great discontent prevailed
there, even to anathemas and tears. Letter after letter was dispatched
to Glasgow; and at length, to the lady's great consolation, the Rev.
Mr. Wringhim arrived safely and devoutly in her elevated sanctuary.
Marvellous was the conversation between these gifted people. Wringhim
had held in his doctrines that there were eight different kinds of
FAITH, all perfectly distinct in their operations and effects. But the
lady, in her secluded state, had discovered another five, making twelve
[sic] in all: the adjusting of the existence or fallacy of these five
faiths served for a most enlightened discussion of nearly seventeen
hours; in the course of which the two got warm in their arguments,
always in proportion as they receded from nature, utility, and common
sense. Wringhim at length got into unwonted fervour about some disputed
point between one of these faiths and TRUST: when the lady, fearing
that zeal was getting beyond its wonted barrier, broke in on his
vehement asseverations with the following abrupt discomfiture: "But,
Sir, as long as I remember, what is to be done with this case of open
and avowed iniquity?"
The minister was struck dumb. He leaned him back on his chair, stroked
his beard, hemmed--considered, and hemmed again, and then said, in an
altered and softened tone: "Why, that is a secondary consideration; you
mean the case between your husband and Miss Logan?"
"The same, Sir. I am scandalized at such intimacies going on under my
nose. The sufferance of it is a great and crying evil."
"Evil, madam, may be either operative, or passive. To them it is an
evil, but to us none. We have no more to do with the sins of the wicked
and unconverted here than with those of an infidel Turk; for all
earthly bonds and fellowships are absorbed and swallowed up in the holy
community of the Reformed Church. However, if it is your wish, I shall
take him to task, and reprimand and humble him in such a manner that he
shall be ashamed of his doings, and renounce such deeds for ever, out
of mere self-respect, though all unsanctified the heart, as well as the
deed, may be. To the wicked, all things are wicked; but to the just,
all things are just and right."
"Ah, that is a sweet and comfortable saying, Mr. Wringhim! How
delightful to think that a justified person can do no wrong! Who would
not envy the liberty wherewith we are made free? Go to my husband, that
poor unfortunate, blindfolded person, and open his eyes to his
degenerate and sinful state; for well are you fitted to the task."
"Yea, I will go in unto him, and confound him. I will lay the strong
holds of sin and Satan as flat before my face as the dung that is
spread out to fatten the land."
"Master, there's a gentleman at the fore-door wants a private word o'
ye."
"Tell him I'm engaged: I can't see any gentleman to-night. But I shall
attend on him to-morrow as soon as he pleases."
"'He's coming straight in, Sir. Stop a wee bit, Sir, my master is
engaged. He cannot see you at present, Sir."
"Stand aside, thou Moabite! My mission admits of no delay. I come to
save him from the jaws of destruction!"
"An that be the case, Sir, it maks a wide difference; an', as the
danger may threaten us a', I fancy I may as weel let ye gang by as
fight wi' ye, sin' ye seem sae intent on 't.--The man says he's comin'
to save ye, an' canna stop, Sir. Here he is."
The laird was going to break out into a volley of wrath against Waters,
his servant; but, before he got a word pronounced, the Rev. Mr.
Wringhim had stepped inside the room, and Waters had retired, shutting
the door behind him.
No introduction could be more mal-a-propos: it was impossible; for at
that very moment the laird and Arabella Logan were both sitting on one
seat, and both looking on one book, when the door opened. "What is it,
Sir?" said the laird fiercely.
"A message of the greatest importance, Sir," said the divine, striding
unceremoniously up to the chimney, turning his back to the fire, and
his face to the culprits. "I think you should know me, Sir?" continued
he, looking displeasedly at the laird, with his face half turned round.
"I think I should," returned the laird. "You are a Mr.
How's--tey--ca'--him, of Glasgow, who did me the worst turn ever I got
done to me in my life. You gentry are always ready to do a man such a
turn. Pray, Sir, did you ever do a good job for anyone to
counterbalance that? For, if you have not, you ought to be--"
"Hold, Sir, I say! None of your profanity before me. If I do evil to
anyone on such occasions, it is because he will have it so; therefore,
the evil is not of my doing. I ask you, Sir, before God and this
witness, I ask you, have you kept solemnly and inviolate the vows which
I laid upon you that day? Answer me!"
"Has the partner whom you bound me to kept hers inviolate? Answer me
that, Sir! None can better do so than you, Mr. How's--tey--ca'--you."
"So, then, you confess your backslidings, and avow the profligacy of
your life. And this person here is, I suppose, the partner of your
iniquity--she whose beauty hath caused you to err! Stand up, both of
you, till I rebuke you, and show you what you are in the eyes of God
and man."
"In the first place, stand you still there, till I tell you what you
are in the eyes of God and man. You are, Sir, a presumptuous,
self-conceited pedagogue, a stirrer up of strife and commotion in
church, in state, in families, and communities. You are one, Sir, whose
righteousness consists in splitting the doctrines of Calvin into
thousands of undistinguishable films, and in setting up a system of
justifying-grace against all breaches of all laws, moral or divine. In
short, Sir, you are a mildew--a canker-worm in the bosom of the
Reformed Church, generating a disease of which she will never be
purged, but by the shedding of blood. Go thou in peace, and do these
abominations no more; but humble thyself, lest a worse reproof come
upon thee."
Wringhim heard all this without flinching. He now and then twisted his
mouth in disdain, treasuring up, meantime, his vengeance against the
two aggressors; for he felt that he had them on the hip, and resolved
to pour out his vengeance and indignation upon them. Sorry am I that
the shackles of modern decorum restrain me from penning that famous
rebuke; fragments of which have been attributed to every divine of old
notoriety throughout Scotland. But I have it by heart; and a glorious
morsel it is to put into the hands of certain incendiaries. The
metaphors are so strong and so appalling that Miss Logan could only
stand them a very short time; she was obliged to withdraw in confusion.
The laird stood his ground with much ado, though his face was often
crimsoned over with the hues of shame and anger. Several times he was
on the point of turning the officious sycophant to the door; but good
manners, and an inherent respect that lie entertained for the clergy,
as the immediate servants of the Supreme Being, restrained him.
Wringhim, perceiving these symptoms of resentment, took them for marks
of shame and contrition, and pushed his reproaches farther than ever
divine ventured to do in a similar case. When he had finished, to
prevent further discussion, he walked slowly and majestically out of
the apartment, making his robes to swing behind him in a most
magisterial manner; he being, without doubt, elated with his high
conquest. He went to the upper story, and related to his metaphysical
associate his wonderful success; how he had driven the dame from the
house in tears and deep confusion, and left the backsliding laird in
such a quandary of shame and repentance that he could neither
articulate a word nor lift up his countenance. The dame thanked him
most cordially, lauding his friendly zeal and powerful eloquence; and
then the two again set keenly to the splitting of hairs, and making
distinctions in religion where none existed.
They being both children of adoption, and secured from falling into
snares, or anyway under the power of the wicked one, it was their
custom, on each visit, to sit up a night in the same apartment, for the
sake of sweet spiritual converse; but that time, in the course of the
night, they differed so materially on a small point somewhere between
justification and final election that the minister, in the heat of his
zeal, sprung from his seat, paced the floor, and maintained his point
with such ardour that Martha was alarmed, and, thinking they were going
to fight, and that the minister would be a hard match for her mistress,
she put on some clothes, and twice left her bed and stood listening at
the back of the door, ready to burst in should need require it. Should
anyone think this picture over-strained, I can assure him that it is
taken from nature and from truth; but I will not likewise aver that the
theologist was neither crazed nor inebriated. If the listener's words
were to be relied on, there was no love, no accommodating principle
manifested between the two, but a fiery burning zeal, relating to
points of such minor importance that a true Christian would blush to
hear them mentioned, and the infidel and profane make a handle of them
to turn our religion to scorn.
Great was the dame's exultation at the triumph of her beloved pastor
over her sinful neighbours in the lower parts of the house; and she
boasted of it to Martha in high-sounding terms. But it was of short
duration; for, in five weeks after that, Arabella Logan came to reside
with the laird as his housekeeper, sitting at his table and carrying
the keys as mistress-substitute of the mansion. The lady's grief and
indignation were now raised to a higher pitch than ever; and she set
every agent to work, with whom she had any power, to effect a
separation between these two suspected ones. Remonstrance was of no
avail: George laughed at them who tried such a course, and retained his
housekeeper, while the lady gave herself up to utter despair; for,
though she would not consort with her husband herself, she could not
endure that any other should do so.
But, to countervail this grievous offence, our saintly and afflicted
dame, in due time, was safely delivered of a fine boy whom the laird
acknowledged as his son and heir, and had him christened by his own
name, and nursed in his own premises. He gave the nurse permission to
take the boy to his mother's presence if ever she should desire to see
him; but, strange as it may appear, she never once desired to see him
from the day that he was born. The boy grew up, and was a healthful and
happy child; and, in the course of another year, the lady presented him
with a brother. A brother he certainly was, in the eye of the law, and
it is more than probable that he was his brother in reality. But the
laird thought otherwise; and, though he knew and acknowledged that he
was obliged to support and provide for him, he refused to acknowledge
him in other respects. He neither would countenance the banquet nor
take the baptismal vows on him in the child's name; of course, the poor
boy had to live and remain an alien from the visible church for a year
and a day; at which time, Mr. Wringhim out of pity and kindness, took
the lady herself as sponsor for the boy, and baptized him by the name
of Robert Wringhim--that being the noted divine's own name.
George was brought up with his father, and educated partly at the
parish school, and partly at home, by a tutor hired for the purpose. He
was a generous and kind-hearted youth; always ready to oblige, and
hardly ever dissatisfied with anybody. Robert was brought up with Mr.
Wringhim, the laird paying a certain allowance for him yearly; and
there the boy was early inured to all the sternness and severity of his
pastor's arbitrary and unyielding creed. He was taught to pray twice
every day, and seven times on Sabbath days; but he was only to pray for
the elect, and, like Devil of old, doom all that were aliens from God
to destruction. He had never, in that family into which he had been as
it were adopted, heard aught but evil spoken of his reputed father and
brother; consequently he held them in utter abhorrence, and prayed
against them every day, often "that the old hoary sinner might be cut
off in the full flush of his iniquity, and be carried quick into hell;
and that the young stem of the corrupt trunk might also be taken from a
world that he disgraced, but that his sins might be pardoned, because
he knew no better."
Such were the tenets in which it would appear young Robert was bred. He
was an acute boy, an excellent learner, had ardent and ungovernable
passions, and, withal, a sternness of demeanour from which other boys
shrunk. He was the best grammarian, the best reader, writer, and
accountant in the various classes that he attended, and was fond of
writing essays on controverted points of theology, for which he got
prizes, and great praise from his guardian and mother. George was much
behind him in scholastic acquirements, but greatly his superior in
personal prowess, form, feature, and all that constitutes gentility in
the deportment and appearance. The laird had often manifested to Miss
Logan an earnest wish that the two young men should never meet, or at
all events that they should be as little conversant as possible; and
Miss Logan, who was as much attached to George as if he had been her
own son, took every precaution, while he was a boy, that he should
never meet with his brother; but, as they advanced towards manhood,
this became impracticable. The lady was removed from her apartments in
her husband's house to Glasgow, to her great content; and all to
prevent the young laird being tainted with the company of her and her
second son; for the laird had felt the effects of the principles they
professed, and dreaded them more than persecution, fire, and sword.
During all the dreadful times that had overpast, though the laird had
been a moderate man, he had still leaned to the side of kingly
prerogative, and had escaped confiscation and fines, without ever
taking any active hand in suppressing the Covenanters. But, after
experiencing a specimen of their tenets and manner in his wife, from a
secret favourer of them and their doctrines, he grew alarmed at the
prevalence of such stern and factious principles, now that there was no
check or restraint upon them; and from that time he began to set
himself against them, joining with the Cavalier party of that day in
all their proceedings.
It so happened that, under the influence of the Earls of Seafield and
Tullibardine, he was returned for a Member of Parliament in the famous
session that sat at Edinburgh when the Duke of Queensberry was
commissioner, and in which party spirit ran to such an extremity. The
young laird went with his father to the court, and remained in town all
the time that the session lasted; and, as all interested people of both
factions flocked to the town at that period, so the important Mr.
Wringhim was there among the rest, during the greater part of the time,
blowing the coal of revolutionary principles with all his might, in
every society to which he could obtain admission. He was a great
favourite with some of the west country gentlemen of that faction, by
reason of his unbending impudence. No opposition could for a moment
cause him either to blush, or retract one item that he had advanced.
Therefore the Duke of Argyle and his friends made such use of him as
sportsmen often do of terriers, to start the game, and make a great
yelping noise to let them know whither the chase is proceeding. They
often did this out of sport, in order to tease their opponent; for of
all pesterers that ever fastened on man he was the most insufferable:
knowing that his coat protected him from manual chastisement, he spared
no acrimony, and delighted in the chagrin and anger of those with whom
he contended. But he was sometimes likewise of real use to the heads of
the Presbyterian faction, and therefore was admitted to their tables,
and of course conceived himself a very great man.
His ward accompanied him; and, very shortly after their arrival in
Edinburgh, Robert, for the first time, met with the young laird his
brother, in a match at tennis. The prowess and agility of the young
squire drew forth the loudest plaudits of approval from his associates,
and his own exertion alone carried the game every time on the one side,
and that so far as all I along to count three for their one. The hero's
name soon ran round the circle, and when his brother Robert, who was an
onlooker, learned who it was that was gaining so much applause, he came
and stood close beside him all the time that the game lasted, always
now and then putting in a cutting remark by way of mockery.
George could not help perceiving him, not only on account of his
impertinent remarks, but he, moreover, stood so near him that he
several times impeded him in his rapid evolutions, and of course got
himself shoved aside in no very ceremonious way. Instead of making him
keep his distance, these rude shocks and pushes, accompanied sometimes
with hasty curses, only made him cling the closer to this king of the
game. He seemed determined to maintain his right to his place as an
onlooker, as well as any of those engaged in the game, and, if they had
tried him at an argument, he would have carried his point; or perhaps
he wished to quarrel with this spark of his jealousy and aversion, and
draw the attention of the gay crowd to himself by these means; for,
like his guardian, he knew no other pleasure but what consisted in
opposition. George took him for some impertinent student of divinity,
rather set upon a joke than anything else. He perceived a lad with
black clothes, and a methodistical face, whose countenance and eye he
disliked exceedingly, several times in his way, and that was all the
notice he took of him the first time they two met. But the next day,
and every succeeding one, the same devilish-looking youth attended him
as constantly as his shadow; was always in his way as with intention to
impede him and ever and anon his deep and malignant eye met those of
his elder brother with a glance so fierce that it sometimes startled
him.
The very next time that George was engaged at tennis, he had not struck
the ball above twice till the same intrusive being was again in his
way. The party played for considerable stakes that day, namely, a
dinner and wine at the Black Bull tavern; and George, as the hero and
head of his party, was much interested in its honour; consequently the
sight of this moody and hellish-looking student affected him in no very
pleasant manner. "Pray Sir, be so good as keep without the range of the
ball," said he.
"Is there any law or enactment that can compel me to do so?" said the
other, biting his lip with scorn.
"If there is not, they are here that shall compel you," returned
George. "So, friend, I rede you to be on your guard."
As he said this, a flush of anger glowed in his handsome face and
flashed from his sparkling blue eye; but it was a stranger to both, and
momently took its departure. The black-coated youth set up his cap
before, brought his heavy brows over his deep dark eyes, put his hands
in the pockets of his black plush breeches, and stepped a little
farther into the semicircle, immediately on his brother's right hand,
than he had ever ventured to do before. There he set himself firm on
his legs, and, with a face as demure as death, seemed determined to
keep his ground. He pretended to be following the ball with his eyes;
but every moment they were glancing aside at George. One of the
competitors chanced to say rashly, in the moment of exultation, "That's
a d--d fine blow, George!" On which the intruder took up the word, as
characteristic of the competitors, and repeated it every stroke that
was given, making such a ludicrous use of it that several of the
onlookers were compelled to laugh immoderately; but the players were
terribly nettled at it, as he really contrived, by dint of sliding in
some canonical terms, to render the competitors and their game
ridiculous.
But matters at length came to a crisis that put them beyond sport.
George, in flying backward to gain the point at which the ball was
going to light, came inadvertently so rudely in contact with this
obstreperous interloper that lie not only overthrew him, but also got a
grievous fall over his legs; and, as he arose, the other made a spurn
at him with his foot, which, if it had hit to its aim, would
undoubtedly have finished the course of the young laird of Dalcastle
and Balgrennan. George, being irritated beyond measure, as may well be
conceived, especially at the deadly stroke aimed at him, struck the
assailant with his racket, rather slightly, but so that his mouth and
nose gushed out blood; and, at the same time, he said, turning to his
cronies: "Does any of you know who the infernal puppy is?"
"Do you know, Sir?" said one of the onlookers, a stranger, "the
gentleman is your own brother, Sir--Mr. Robert Wringhim Colwan!"
"No, not Colwan, Sir," said Robert, putting his hands in his pockets,
and setting himself still farther forward than before, "not a Colwan,
Sir; henceforth I disclaim the name."
"No, certainly not," repeated George. "My mother's son you may be--but
not a Colwan! There you are right." Then, turning around to his
informer, he said: "Mercy be about us, Sir! Is this the crazy
minister's son from Glasgow?"
This question was put in the irritation of the moment, but it was too
rude, and far too out of place, and no one deigned any answer to it. He
felt the reproof, and felt it deeply; seeming anxious for some
opportunity to make an acknowledgment, or some reparation.
In the meantime, young Wringhim was an object to all of the uttermost
disgust. The blood flowing from his mouth and nose he took no pains to
stem, neither did he so much as wipe it away; so that it spread over
all his cheeks, and breast, even off at his toes. In that state did he
take up his station in the middle of the competitors; and he did not
now keep his place, but ran about, impeding everyone who attempted to
make at the ball. They loaded him with execrations, but it availed
nothing; he seemed courting persecution and buffetings, keeping
steadfastly to his old joke of damnation, and marring the game so
completely that, in spite of every effort on the part of the players,
he forced them to stop their game and give it up. He was such a
rueful-looking object, covered with blood, that none of them had the
heart to kick him, although it appeared the only thing he wanted; and,
as for George, he said not another word to him, either in anger or
reproof.
When the game was fairly given up, and the party were washing their
hands in the stone fount, some of them besought Robert Wringhim to wash
himself; but he mocked at them, and said he was much better as he was.
George, at length, came forward abashedly towards him, and said: "I
have been greatly to blame, Robert, and am very sorry for what I have
done. But, in the first instance, I erred through ignorance, not
knowing you were my brother, which you certainly are; and, in the
second, through a momentary irritation, for which I am ashamed. I pray
you, therefore, to pardon me, and give me your hand."
As he said this, he held out his hand towards his polluted brother; but
the froward predestinarian took not his from his breeches pocket, but
lifting his foot, he gave his brother's hand a kick. "I'll give you
what will suit such a hand better than mine," said he, with a sneer.
And then, turning lightly about, he added: "Are there to be no more of
these d---d fine blows, gentlemen? For shame, to give up such a
profitable and edifying game!"
"This is too bad," said George. "But, since it is thus, I have the less
to regret." And, having made this general remark, he took no more note
of the uncouth aggressor. But the persecution of the latter terminated
not on the play-ground: he ranked up among them, bloody and disgusting
as he was, and, keeping close by his brother's side, he marched along
with the party all the way to the Black Bull. Before they got there, a
great number of boys and idle people had surrounded them, hooting and
incommoding them exceedingly, so that they were glad to get into the
inn; and the unaccountable monster actually tried to get in alongst
with them, to make one of the party at dinner. But the innkeeper and
his men, getting the hint, by force prevented him from entering,
although he attempted it again and again, both by telling lies and
offering a bribe. Finding he could not prevail, he set to exciting the
mob at the door to acts of violence; in which he had like to have
succeeded. The landlord had no other shift, at last, but to send
privately for two officers, and have him carried to the guard-house;
and the hilarity and joy of the party of young gentlemen, for the
evening, was quite spoiled by the inauspicious termination of their
game.
The Rev. Robert Wringhim was now to send for, to release his beloved
ward. The messenger found him at table, with a number of the leaders of
the Whig faction, the Marquis of Annandale being in the chair; and, the
prisoner's note being produced, Wringhim read it aloud, accompanying it
with some explanatory remarks. The circumstances of the case being thus
magnified and distorted, it excited the utmost abhorrence, both of the
deed and the perpetrators, among the assembled faction. They declaimed
against the act as an unnatural attempt on the character, and even the
life, of an unfortunate brother, who had been expelled from his
father's house. And, as party spirit was the order of the day, an
attempt was made to lay the burden of it to that account. In short, the
young culprit got some of the best blood of the land to enter as his
securities, and was set at liberty. But, when Wringhim perceived the
plight that he was in, he took him, as he was, and presented him to his
honourable patrons. This raised the indignation against the young laird
and his associates a thousand-fold, which actually roused the party to
temporary madness. They were, perhaps, a little excited by the wine and
spirits they had swallowed; else a casual quarrel between two young
men, at tennis, could not have driven them to such extremes. But
certain it is that, from one at first arising to address the party on
the atrocity of the offence, both in a moral and political point of
view, on a sudden there were six on their feet, at the same time,
expatiating on it; and, in a very short time thereafter, everyone in
the room was up talking with the utmost vociferation, all on the same
subject, and all taking the same side in the debate.
In the midst of this confusion, someone or other issued from the house,
which was at the back of the Canongate, calling out: "A plot, a plot!
Treason, treason! Down with the bloody incendiaries at the Black Bull!"
The concourse of people that were assembled in Edinburgh at that time
was prodigious; and, as they were all actuated by political motives,
they wanted only a ready-blown coal to set the mountain on fire. The
evening being fine, and the streets thronged, the cry ran from mouth to
mouth through the whole city. More than that, the mob that had of late
been gathered to the door of the Black Bull had, by degrees, dispersed;
but, they being young men, and idle vagrants, they had only spread
themselves over the rest of the street to lounge in search of further
amusement: consequently, a word was sufficient to send them back to
their late rendezvous, where they had previously witnessed something
they did not much approve of.
The master of the tavern was astonished at seeing the mob again
assembling; and that with such hurry and noise. But, his inmates being
all of the highest respectability, he judged himself sure of
protection, or at least of indemnity. He had two large parties in his
house at the time; the largest of which was of the Revolutionist
faction. The other consisted of our young Tennis-players, and their
associates, who were all of the Jacobite order; or, at all events,
leaned to the Episcopal side. The largest party were in a front room;
and the attack of the mob fell first on their windows, though rather
with fear and caution. Jingle went one pane; then a loud hurrah; and
that again was followed by a number of voices, endeavouring to restrain
the indignation from venting itself in destroying the windows, and to
turn it on the inmates. The Whigs, calling the landlord, inquired what
the assault meant: he cunningly answered that he suspected it was some
of the youths of the Cavalier, or High-Church party, exciting the mob
against them. The party consisted mostly of young gentlemen, by that
time in a key to engage in any row; and, at all events, to suffer
nothing from the other party, against whom their passions were mightily
inflamed.
The landlord, therefore, had no sooner given them the spirit-rousing
intelligence than everyone, as by instinct, swore his own natural oath,
and grasped his own natural weapon. A few of those of the highest rank
were armed with swords, which they boldly drew; those of the
subordinate orders immediately flew to such weapons as the room,
kitchen, and scullery afforded--such as tongs, pokers, spits, racks,
and shovels; and breathing vengeance on the prelatic party, the
children of Antichrist and the heirs of d--n--t--n! the barterers of
the liberties of their country, and betrayers of the most sacred
trust--thus elevated, and thus armed, in the cause of right, justice,
and liberty, our heroes rushed to the street, and attacked the mob with
such violence that they broke the mass in a moment, and dispersed their
thousands like chaff before the wind. The other party of young
Jacobites, who sat in a room farther from the front, and were those
against whom the fury of the mob was meant to have been directed, knew
nothing of this second uproar, till the noise of the sally made by the
Whigs assailed their ears; being then informed that the mob had
attacked the house on account of the treatment they themselves had
given to a young gentleman of the adverse faction, and that another
jovial party had issued from the house in their defence, and was now
engaged in an unequal combat, the sparks likewise flew, to the field to
back their defenders with all their prowess, without troubling their
heads about who they were.
A mob is like a spring tide in an eastern storm, that retires only to
return with more overwhelming fury. The crowd was taken by surprise
when such a strong and well-armed party issued from the house with so
great fury, laying all prostrate that came in their way. Those who were
next to the door, and were, of course, the first whom the imminent
danger assailed, rushed backwards among the crowd with their whole
force. The Black Bull standing in a small square half-way between the
High Street and the Cowgate, and the entrance to it being by two
closes, into these the pressure outwards was simultaneous, and
thousands were moved to an involuntary flight, they knew not why.
But the High Street of Edinburgh, which they soon reached, is a
dangerous place in which to make an open attack upon a mob. And it
appears that the entrances to the tavern had been somewhere near to the
Cross, on the south side of the street; for the crowd fled with great
expedition, both to the cast and west, and the conquerors, separating
themselves as chance directed, pursued impetuously, wounding and
maiming as they flew. But it so chanced that, before either of the
wings had followed the flying squadrons of their enemies for the space
of a hundred yards each way, the devil an enemy they had to pursue! the
multitude had vanished like so many thousands of phantoms! What could
our heroes do? Why, they faced about to return towards their citadel,
the Black Bull. But that feat was not so easily, nor so readily
accomplished as they divined. The unnumbered alleys on each side of the
street had swallowed up the multitude in a few seconds; but from these
they were busy reconnoitring; and perceiving the deficiency in the
number of their assailants, the rush from both sides of the street was
as rapid, and as wonderful, as the disappearance of the crowd had been
a few minutes before. Each close vomited out its levies, and these
better armed with missiles than when they sought it for a temporary
retreat. Woe then to our two columns of victorious Whigs! The mob
actually closed around them as they would have swallowed them up; and,
in the meanwhile, shower after shower of the most abominable weapons of
offence were rained in upon them. If the gentlemen were irritated
before, this inflamed them still further; but their danger was now so
apparent they could not shut their eyes on it; therefore, both parties,
as if actuated by the same spirit, made a desperate effort to join, and
the greater part effected it; but some were knocked down, and others
were separated from their friends, and blithe to become silent members
of the mob.
The battle now raged immediately in front of the closes leading to the
Black Bull; the small body of Whig gentlemen was hardly bested, and it
is likely would have been overcome and trampled down every man, had
they not been then and there joined by the young Cavaliers; who, fresh
to arms, broke from the wynd, opened the head of the passage, laid
about them manfully, and thus kept up the spirits of the exasperated
Whigs, who were the men in fact that wrought the most deray among the
populace.
The town-guard was now on the alert; and two companies of the
Cameronian Regiment, with the Hon. Captain Douglas, rushed down from
the Castle to the scene of action; but, for all the noise and hubbub
that these caused in the street, the combat had become so close and
inveterate that numbers of both sides were taken prisoners fighting
hand to hand, and could scarcely be separated when the guardsmen and
soldiers had them by the necks.
Great was the alarm and confusion that night in Edinburgh; for everyone
concluded that it was a party scuffle, and, the two parties being so
equal in power, the most serious consequences were anticipated. The
agitation was so prevailing that every party in town, great and small,
was broken up; and the lord-commissioner thought proper to go to the
Council Chamber himself, even at that late hour, accompanied by the
sheriffs of Edinburgh and Linlithgow, with sundry noblemen besides, in
order to learn something of the origin of the affray.
For a long time the court was completely puzzled. Every gentleman
brought in exclaimed against the treatment he had received, in most
bitter terms, blaming a mob set on him and his friends by the adverse
party, and matters looked extremely ill until at length they began to
perceive that they were examining gentlemen of both parties, and that
they had been doing so from the beginning, almost alternately, so
equally had the prisoners been taken from both parties. Finally, it
turned out that a few gentlemen, two-thirds of whom were strenuous
Whigs themselves, had joined in mauling the whole Whig population of
Edinburgh. The investigation disclosed nothing the effect of which was
not ludicrous; and the Duke of Queensberry, whose aim was at that time
to conciliate the two factions, tried all that he could to turn the
whole fracas into a joke--an unlucky frolic, where no ill was meant on
either side, and which yet had been productive of a great deal.
The greater part of the people went home satisfied; but not so the Rev.
Robert Wringhim. He did all that he could to inflame both judges and
populace against the young Cavaliers, especially against the young
Laird of Dalcastle, whom he represented as an incendiary, set on by an
unnatural parent to slander his mother, and make away with a hapless
and only brother; and, in truth, that declaimer against all human merit
had that sort of powerful, homely, and bitter eloquence which seldom
missed affecting his hearers: the consequence at that time was that he
made the unfortunate affair between the two brothers appear in
extremely bad colours, and the populace retired to their homes
impressed with no very favourable opinion of either the Laird of
Dalcastle or his son George, neither of whom were there present to
speak for themselves.
As for Wringhim himself, he went home to his lodgings, filled with gall
and with spite against the young laird, whom he was made to believe the
aggressor, and that intentionally. But most of all he was filled with
indignation against the father, whom he held in abhorrence at all
times, and blamed solely for this unmannerly attack made on his
favourite ward, namesake, and adopted son; and for the public
imputation of a crime to his own reverence in calling the lad his son,
and thus charging him with a sin against which he was well known to
have levelled all the arrows of church censure with unsparing might.
But, filled as his heart was with some portion of these bad feelings,
to which all flesh is subject, he kept, nevertheless, the fear of the
Lord always before his eyes so far as never to omit any of the external
duties of religion, and farther than that man hath no power to pry. He
lodged with the family of a Mr. Miller, whose lady was originally from
Glasgow, and had been a hearer and, of course, a great admirer of Mr.
Wringhim. In that family he made public worship every evening; and that
night, in his petitions at a throne of grace, he prayed for so many
vials of wrath to be poured on the head of some particular sinner that
the hearers trembled, and stopped their ears. But that he might not
proceed with so violent a measure, amounting to excommunication,
without due scripture warrant, he began the exercise of the evening by
singing the following verses, which it is a pity should ever have been
admitted into a Christian psalmody, being so adverse to all its mild
and benevolent principles:
Set thou the wicked over him,
And upon his right hand
Give thou his greatest enemy,
Even Satan, leave to stand.