index.js

const express = require('express');
const app = express();
const bodyParser = require('body-parser');
const request = require('request');

app.set('port', (process.env.PORT || 5000));
app.use(express.static(__dirname + '/public'));

app.use(bodyParser.json());

const key = process.env.BOT_KEY || 'hankey';
const name = process.env.BOT_NAME || 'JimmySanBot';
const inlineImage = process.env.INLINE_IMAGE || 'poo.jpg';
const inlineThumb = process.env.INLINE_THUMB || 'poo_thumb.jpg';
const lName = name.toLowerCase();

const triggerWords = [
  "javascript",
  "docker",
  "systemd",
  "wordpress",
  "java",
  "js",
  "php",
  "python",
  "lisp",
  "clojure",
  "node",
  "angular",
  "react",
  "npm",
  "yarn",
  "perl",
  "pascal",
  "cobol",
  "windows",
  "dotnet",
  "go",
  "golang",
  "lua",
  "rust",
  "asp",
  "apple",
  "mac",
  "macos",
  "osx",
  "chrome",
  "safari",
  "ie",
  "opera",
  "dolphin",
  "konqueror",
  "chromium",
  "vivaldi",
  "sony",
  "ubuntu",
  "debian",
  "oracle",
  "kotlin",
  "firefox",
  "mysql",
  "adobe",
  "dart",
  "flutter",
  "xamarin",
  "blackmagic"
];

function formatMessage(item) {
  return `${item} merda 💩`;
}

function formatInlineResult(text) {
  var formattedText = formatMessage(text);
  return {
    type: 'article',
    id: text,
    thumb_url: inlineThumb,
    title: name,
    description: `\n${formattedText}`,
    input_message_content: {
      message_text: formattedText
    }
  };
}

const triggers = new RegExp(`\\b(${triggerWords.join('|')})\\b`, 'gi');

const muted = [];

function sendMessage(chatId, message, replyTo = undefined, markdown = false) {
  const msg = {
    chat_id: chatId,
    text: message
  };

  if (replyTo !== undefined) {
    msg.reply_to_message_id = replyTo;
  }

  if (markdown) {
    msg.parse_mode = 'markdown';
  }

  request.post(`https://api.telegram.org/bot${key}/sendMessage`, {
    json: msg
  });
}

if (process.env.NODE_ENV === 'development') {
  sendMessage = function (chatId, message, replyTo = undefined, markdown = false) {
    console.log(message);
  };
}

app.post(`/bot/${key}`, function (req, res) {
  const update = req.body;

  if (update.inline_query) {
    const query = update.inline_query;

    const result = {
      inline_query_id: query.id,
      next_offset: ""
    };

    if (query.query === undefined || query.query === "") {
      result.results = triggerWords.slice(0, 50).map(formatInlineResult)
    } else {
      result.results = triggerWords
        .filter(i => i.includes(query.query))
        .slice(0, 49)
        .map(formatInlineResult);

      result.results.push(formatInlineResult(query.query));
    }

    result.method = 'answerInlineQuery';
    res.send(result);
    return;
  }

  const message = update.message || update.edited_message;

  if (message === undefined || message.text === undefined) {
    res.sendStatus(200);
    return;
  }

  const text = message.text.toLowerCase();
  const chatId = message.chat.id;
  const msgId = message.message_id;

  const index = muted.indexOf(chatId);

  if (index !== -1) {
    if (text === '/unmute' || text === `/unmute@${lName}` || message.text === `Start-Service -Name ${name}`) {
      muted.splice(index, 1);
      sendMessage(chatId, `\`systemctl start ${lName}.service\``, undefined, true);
    }
    res.sendStatus(200);
    return;
  }

  if (text === '/mute' || text === `/mute@${lName}` || message.text === `Stop-Service -Name ${name}`) {
    muted.push(chatId);
    sendMessage(chatId, `\`systemctl stop ${lName}.service\``, undefined, true);
    res.sendStatus(200);
    return;
  }

  if (text === '/start' || text === `/start@${lName}`) {
    sendMessage(chatId, 'This bot replaces [gionniboy](https://github.com/gionniboy) ' +
      'in every conversation you add it to! It was written 100% in JavaScript on a Mac, just for extra fun.\n' +
      'You can even use it inline!\n\nSource code [here](https://github.com/kipters/jimmybot), submit a PR if you want!',
      undefined, true);
    res.sendStatus(200);
    return;
  }

  const triggered = text.match(triggers);

  if (triggered) {
    triggered.forEach(item => {
        if (Math.random() >= 0.5) {
          sendMessage(chatId, formatMessage(item), msgId);
        }
    });
  }

  res.sendStatus(200);
});

app.get('/', function (req, res) {
  res.sendStatus(404);
});

app.listen(app.get('port'), function () {
  console.log("Node app is running at localhost:" + app.get('port'))
});